Seventy-six Minutes

What she looked for in every boy she encountered was a conversation. A proper soul-enriching conversation. Because she felt lonely otherwise. She sat at the cream-coloured table in class as her mind riveted back to the boy she smoked up with last week. He had big hands. They sat at the end of the rusted knocked down bridge and spoke of things people usually don’t speak about on their first dates. The bridge had several planks missing. Boltu, the university dog sat in the middle of it, resting under the afterglow of the evening sun. Their legs brushed against one another. Neither pulled away. He spoke of life in Rajasthan. How he didn’t get along with his Ma. It saddened her, but she didn’t let go of his hand.

“I need a smoke.”, she pulled away.

 

Keep your hands away

In the clouds deep – where they belong

Umm, up –

Seventy-six minutes

In the noontime of my eyes

Numb lover, come, sit,

Gaze into the pensive.

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Holi ’16.

Well, hi!

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The best thing to happen, happened. I had a freaking amazing holi- in all sense of the term. I got to spend it with my bestbuds and family. 🙂

And and and

I woke up to –

my article

published on

The Times of India. :3

Full page, too. Yay.

Here’s the link-

23_03_2016_my article

P.S. – Happy Holi, folks! Hope you had a good one. 🙂

Full Retard and Hello 2014!

‘Let’s Get Married’

That was all that was there in my head.

Unbelievable.

I was pissed. I was angry.

And that was all that was there in my head.

That one sentence.

 

It had been more than a year.

It was New Years Eve.

He was in Shillong.

But all I could distinctly remember was this desperate intense urge to get married.

Let’s get married and then I could sleep in peace. Go back to my pink blankiee.

I hadn’t even turned 20.

He turned 19 a few days back.

Marriage was just a word. The responsible meaning hadn’t sunk in yet.

All I knew was to get married and a have a chubby kid and a dog and a bird and a hamster and a duck.

Quack. Quack.

The thought of having a duck follow me around the house was pleasing. It was almost satisfactory.

 

I don’t want to get married before 30.

I’m quite sure.

Mind made.

Contradictory stuff, eh?

I do that to myself. Sometimes.

 

I bought a brand new headphone today. It ain’t working.

My happy mood went straight down the drain.

I have been sulking since.

I was pissed. I was angry.

Told you. The very root cause was this unhappy lil thing.

I went full retard after that.

 

I want biriyani. And raita. And kebabs maybe.

 

2013. It has been a great year. I have a lot to be thankful for. Especially my parents for being so supportive and nice and loving and being MINE.

My brother and bhabi. For being awesome as always. Yo! Dada for being the male version of me. And bhabi for being a replica of me. La Lala Lala. It’s a wonderful world.

Mr. Happy. For being the most understanding guy on the planet. And for being MY lovable lil thing. And for all those other things only you know about. Psst. O:)

Abhimanyu. For tolerating me. For having the world’s patience stored up and explaining basic computer stuff to me all year round.

Tathagata(da) for being you and giving me the push I needed. Thanks for believing in me. And for introducing me to that lovable bunch of people. Sobai pagol. ^_^

Sayantan da. For all the advices on acting. You are one of the greatest actors I have seen up close.

Kaushiki. For not forgetting to be my chotto cow. Some insanity is always appreciated.

My school friends. For restoring faith in good old friendship.

Rachaita, Tiasha, Medha. For the food walks. And my mood swings. For keeping the craziness alive.

Alokananda. For sharing The Bell Jar. It is a weird love for Plath.

Shivi, Adi, Appy. For being there. Just. At all odd times.

To my half-JU-half-XAV group. For being random. Fun times. :’)

Sohini di and Shamvabee di. For your fb notes. Your poems. Totally inspiring. Two seniors I love a lot. Respect.

The weird batch of juniors. For being weird. Period. Attooottttaaa bhalobasha. :3

To LIFE , in general. For my loved ones. For the cool internships that came by. For the few times my work got appreciated. For helping me crawl outta my writer’s block. For the kicks(It hurt!). For showing me thou is a prick but that I’ll get by. For..for everything.. I love thee.

 

2014, Darling, please don’t go full retard. Be Good.

(Here’s hoping.)

Old. Old. Old. And Gone.

Okay. So this is like a really really old diary entry. Wayyyyyyy back in 2012.

( I really need to overcome this Writer’s Block. 😐

*super sad face* )

Image

Today is Valentine’s Day. A happy day for most. Meaningless for the happy singles..and a bit sad and awkward for the few heartbroken ones like me.. It is mostly awkward..because..you know..should I wish him? or should I not? I mean we are friends.. but what kind of friends exactly? I call him my best friend.. but then why am I in the weird zone???

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! confusion! confusion!

Nahhh won’t think about it.. I won’t simply think about it..! Problem solved!

But then what exactly was the problem??

GOD! My mind is killing me! It’s weird the way my heart thinks about this and that all day.. Useless Jobless lil thing..!

I mean.. basically.. I spent like two hours looking at his pictures on his profile in Facebook.. (seriously..is this what it has all come down too..? INSANE! The gloom of doom..! )

*sigh! *sigh!

He does look pretty cute.. His hair has curled up a bit more than it was the last time i saw him..  His smile is dazzling as ever..and yes.. He is my charming… and i hope he wil be too after this rough phase is over..

BUNK my life.. n my never ending sad story.. I mean look around you..

There’s plenty of red roses..and balloons..and kisses..and people madly in love.. but who is going to spare a lil bit of thought to the minor group of not-so-loved people? basically no one.. either you can complain.. or cry your heart out thinking it is the end of the world.. and that you will surely die alone.. but hey! who cares a crap about this day anyway? seriously? just one day for love?

THAT is not fair..

But then, I think I’m losing my way to what I wanted to talk about.. if you love someone who loves you more than life.. then you are one of those lucky ones.. and I’m truly happy for you.. but if you are not so fortunate.. then don’t break down.. there is more meaning to life than this..  So, for now,  be  your own valentine.. love yourself a lil more..have chocolates and cakes and do whatever your heart, mind and soul wishes for without a care.. One day even we’ll have someone to share this day with.. someone who will look for us..saying..

I will find out where she has gone,
And kiss her lips and take her hands.
And pluck till time and times are done
The silver apples of the moon,
The golden apples of the sun.
– William Butler Yeats

 

Even my fishes are having plenty of good time..messing around.. and me? I’m here..glued to my laptop..waiting for my cup of evening tea.. this is how I’m spending my Valentine’s Day.. looking back, last year..same day..same time.. life could not have been happier and more perfect.. but right now, this is my life.. THIS is my reality..

A truly awkward and confused article from the heartbroken to the heartbroken.. YES! I understand how you are feeling.. but if no one, here’s me wishing you..

‘HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!’

If music be the food of love, play on.
– William Shakespeare

 

-ANTARA CHAKRABORTY

14.02.2012