Death Bound

 

I think I’m dying…

Not literally, of course.

But it’s as if there is this part of me –hidden maybe –however miniscule, that is dead…frozen…coffined…

I don’t know…

There is this unendurable pain crippling down my spine… reaching…connecting…gliding over…

I’m a prisoner in my own carcass…

 

I really do feel dead.

It is sad the way it is.

The hollow emptiness dexterously delineated in my soul.

It is suffocating at times.

 

I need my escape.

Even if for an hour.

Just completely shut the world down… just stay far…FAR away from all its complexities…the favourable lies…the hypocrisy…the masked truths…

Just away from this heaviness…this weight tugging at my heart…which has been pulling me down for quite some time…

I can’t find the firm ground I once stood upon…

 

Art was supposed to relieve me…but it hasn’t… It doesn’t anymore…the impeccable glee I once felt at having my hands covered in paint or blots of ink for that matter…is gone..POOF!!… And it’s gone…vanished into thin air…

*chuckles*

 

Sigh!

I need a way out.

Underachieving…always an underachiever…ALWAYS… it gets to you at times… What a waste of a life…!

 

I really do feel dead sometimes…

But it grows on you…

With time.

 

I saw this girl in a dream of mine…long kohl eyed…with the dance in her steps…the murmur of cascade in her laughter…and happiness… Happiness oozing out from every curve of her being..

I haven’t seen her for quite a while…

I miss her.

I wish I felt more Alive.

 

It’s just I feel Dead most of the time…

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